I know, I know. It seems like forever since I've posted anything. Christmas, in fact! That gives you some idea of how much "humming" has been going on around here. Competition for the computer is one factor. When I have the time to post is not necessarily when the computer is available. But my life is triage. Figuring out what is the highest priority for that week, that day, that hour, and, all too often, that minute.
And I am not alone. The more parents I talk to, the more I discover that we are all just surviving minute by minute, doing that which needs doing the most. But the good news is almost everyone is putting a priority on family. Kids with homework. Time with aging parents, even if it is just by phone. Someone who needs to be listened to. Moms are not complaining that there is not enough time to clean the house; that is just an accepted given. Part of the squeeze is the demands of the work place. More and more people are talking about having to bring work home (not that we know anything about that!!!!!). Few will complain as co-workers are cut from the payroll (can you spell r-e-c-e-s-s-i-o-n) and new jobs are hard to find. The party of family values should congratulate themselves that life for most families is sooooo much better than eight years ago!
I digress. My offspring has completed his BIG project for the year, much to everyone's relief. I wish I could say that I felt he learned something from the process. Well, I can. He learned that teachers are not always right. That teachers are not always helpful or positive. That an assignment might not be designed to be "one size fits all" (as in, all 50 states are not agricultural powerhouses but you have to write like they are!). And he learned that there are times when school is not fun. Don't get me wrong. I think teachers are considerably underpaid and underappreciated and horribly overworked. It is a nine-month marathon to teach. Those summers off are essential in building up the energy and stamina to do it again for another nine months. Some teachers, apparently, do not get rejuvenated during the summer. For those teachers I think the years of teaching start to take a toll and one year's frustrations feed into the next until negativity gets a strangle hold. When my sponge of a student complains, you know there is a problem. He loves teachers! They are the fountain of knowledge and some of the greatest people in the world (maybe not as great as George Lucas or Steven Spielberg, but still great)! Even this teacher has things to feed his insatiable hunger to learn. But her inconsistency, negativity (if not outright bullying), her need to control information (even from parents) and "keep the kids guessing", and her inability to correct, much less admit to, a mistake? All that and more has turned my "ideal" student into mush. She has single-handedly destroyed some of his self-esteem (although he is probably resilient enough, forgiving enough, and altogether too smart to allow her to have that power once he has moved on to the next grade). A child with so much confidence that he can sing a solo before a crowd of 600 without a second thought. Who writes better than most college students. Who thinks he can do just about anything (except sports). So I have had to pick up the pieces all year long. I have had to play psychologist by the hour just to get him through the year. And the situation has not been helped by the bullying by certain of his classmates nor the disparaging remarks of other students because he likes school. Such is the life of many parents, I know.
I guess most of this comes down to treating each other with respect. With appreciation for our differences. For building each other up, instead of tearing each other down. For being positive. I am the first to admit that I see the flaws before anything else. It makes me a great proofreader and a less tolerant human being. But I try hard to not participate in gossip. I try to see the good even in the classmate who has bullied my offspring and has made school a living nightmare (aside from the teacher). It makes it hard to be a parent-to correct my offspring while still building him up and finding that balance between the two. My family will probably say I am difficult because I want things just so. My students would say I am "picky" (yes, I am a teacher, too, so I know what it takes to teach and I know how clear expectations are essential, not this "follow-the-changing-standards" business) because I expect them to apply what they have learned each and every time after that! But my students would also say I care about each and every one of them. That I believe that they can do well. We see what we want to see. If we see our fellow humans as kind, then we will see kindness around us. If we think everyone is selfish, then that is what we will see more than anything else. How about one big attitude adjustment for the country? Only let's start in our own homes. How about in the mirror? Can we see the good in ourselves, rather than the flaws? Instead of focusing on weight gain or wrinkles or the family who makes more money, can we realize what a difference we make by just listening or volunteering? Can our schools celebrate the giftedness of the few and help those who have trouble keeping up instead of picking on them? Can our towns become communities when we say hello to the checkers in the grocery store and actually mean it when we ask how they are? Or start a conversation while standing in line? I am a child of the space era, of the race to the moon. When anything was possible and solutions to problems presented themselves. Yes, that time had its problems. But the citizens of this country recognized those problems and started to fix them, rather than burying their heads in the sand as if they did not exist. Not like now. We can play Scarlett O'Hara and "think about it tomorrow" if we like. But tomorrow is today (or rather yesterday). We each need to do our little bit in whatever way we can to make this world a better place. A kind word. Turning off a light. Recycling. Walking. Yes, even something as anti-American as using a library instead of (gasp!) buying a book. Standing up for one another when we hear gossip. Being there for families dealing with a loss or serious illness. Community. Wherever we find it.
So if I have not been "blogging"? Maybe I am just trying to make my little corner a little better. Not always succeeding, but doing my best with the limited time I have. And don't I really just have this day? There are no guarantees in life, just opportunities. What are you going to do with yours?
